atop a freshly-built pizza, is very nice. You wouldn't have thought it!

It has been a long time, and it will absolutely be a long time again, because I have a life away from the computer. Although I have a lot to thank the computer for, on consideration: I just don't want it to be my tyrant! The computer is my friend. At the moment. Computers are like those friends who go 'you're not my friend anymore' at a moment's notice, but since you yourself are capricious enough with them, only seeking them out when they're of use to you, the relationship of mutuality seems to work well enough. Just as well my true friends are real people, eh?

Goats' cheese,

Here is an antithesis:

The door was black: the door was white.

Thank you.

I'm fine, you know. I'm not hurting inside or desperate for someone to love or ready to jump off a building. It's fantastic! I get so many really nice things every day. I take them for granted. This should not be! People lose their fingers all the time, their hair falls out; someone fires them, they fail exams; somone they love dies, has an accident; their computers break down, the toast burns; they get rejected, mocked: these things don't happen to me, and some haven't ever happened. Also there are so many more things that might happen, but don't. You really appreciate things when they're not around. Basically it would take us years and years of praising God to account for everything, and we'd still miss out really obvious things. Just as well that there's eternity to do the praising.

I'm going to go now, but I will return at some point with a Question of the Famousest Appeal. 

Just saying

I got a three hour break

It's not hard to take

So here I am at home typing on the infernal machine.

Untitled: the sequel

OK, so I promised a Nelegant Masterpiece, only my brain--well, this happened to it:

YEAH!! I've got the ABILITY! I am avid, mystical, scintillating, full of wit and vivacity! My tonsils channel amazing spirits of might and wonder! I saunter through the garden of the night, unashamed, unabashed and with perfectly crazy teeth! I've got the groooooooooooooooooooooooove down here, y'all! Leave it to the funktress to make a crazymad sculpture like a speleeening, reyouwnk, mit wifungecaa! My bold  is bold, my CAPITALS are CAPITAL. I mean what I say like a mean green machine or other hardware tool. I am superb, all-pervadingly attractive and highly gleamish! I believe in a thing called love! They can laugh, but it doesn't matter! can I get away with this? I doubt it highly. Who do I think I am? Not Napoleon, mate, that's for sure! Not even Mrs Gaskell! Unashamed and unabashed and unabased (fortuitous typo that it is), that's who! I can yeah yeah yeah like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs! I slice grizzlies in half with ketchup sachets! I can leap over tall mildew in a single bound! Kneecaps, elbows and kneecaps again, but in an extremely graceful funky manner! Don't fear the reaper

yeah, and then I stopped mid-sentence and considered. I considered long and deeply. I conseedared with a slight Glaswegian accent. I considered day, night, and the bits in between. My brow was permanently wrinkled with consideration. If you can think of one person who can be said to have considered something deeply and with a commendable lack of style, then that person is me. Yes, absolutely, I considered far into the middle of next week. And got nowhere. Fraid so.

Well, the one thing I could think of was that it was written about a quarter of an hour after watching a large amount of the mighty boosh. That's the only explanatino I could come up with. Perhaps I shall write a treatise on it. The nelegant masterpiece is, obviously, top priority for now, though. Deferred priorities. To do list. I'm sure you're gagging with anticipation, my solitary viewer. I would advise you, before I leave, to disentangle any chair legs from phone wires, or else the dread phone phantom may come to taunt you.

Finally, I would like to apologise profusely for this entry, except for the bit which says I don't need to apologise. Good afternoon.